Whose death made them royalty?

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Me:

Before you do anything to be liked, remember that you’re loved more than you can know.
Here are various things to remember, in no particular order:

1.  It’s a good thing you rejected the 10/16 due date set for you and held out for a date three weeks later (11/6), which gave you a triple Scorpio sextile to Jupiter in Virgo, a double trine to Saturn in Cancer, a Mercury trine to the Moon, and a time of day that gave you a Jupiter-Midheaven trine.  In utero, you couldh ave written a book on electional astrology in addition to the three you’ll later publish, but it’s just as well you didn’t: there’s no guarantee things will turn out as hoped — which, of course, makes life interesting.  By the time you were born, you forgot all the strengths and blessings that your timing gave you, and would not begin to relearn them until you were twenty-four and began studying with Lynne Palmer.

2.  By sixteen, when you ran for Secretary of Senior Sing, you got your first exhilarating taste of making a roomful of people laugh.  There would be later comedy gigs, including at Grossinger’s and the Cunard Princess.  Even without a sizeable audience, timing and phrasing can still help you tell an entertaining story.

3.  Ask Dad a lot of questions about his childhood and growing-up years.  What better way to learn about the 1890′s and the first decade of  the 20th century (and do research for fiction I still want to write)?  You’re only one generation away from the 19th century, and e-mailing as if you’d done it all your life.  In our arrogance, we tend to forget that anyone but outselves was ever young!

4.  You won’t do it but I wish you would: give Aunt Lil and Uncle Bill a lot of lip, a lot of sass.  They’re gonna hate you anyway, and they deserve it for trying to poison Mom’s mind against you (“She always was a loser with money.”)  Mom won’t say a word in your defense but at least the will won’t change, disinheriting you.  Still, her evil sister and brother-in-law deserve a lot more grief than they’ve gotten.  I don’t know why everyone else in the family quakes at the prospect of their disapproval, and generally kisses their asses.  Whose death made them royalty?

5.  Don’t let anyone into your home if it was their idea rather than yours that they come in.  You’re entitled to keep your home yours.  Being consistent about this would’ve saved you a lot of anguish and the waste of two months with Ed.  Two months too many.

6.  It was Dad’s idea that there’d be the double benefit of your reading aloud to him from Peyton Place and Valley of the Dolls.  He’d have “audiobooks” when he had cataracts, to “see what all the shouting was about” in the cases of those two books, and you’d have speech therapy.  Your diction and projection are better, so crap is not without its uses.

Tiffany

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2 thoughts on “Whose death made them royalty?

  1. What a kick to see the first page of my letter on the site! But what happened to pages 2 and 3? Thanks! Best regards,

    Tiffany Holmes

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