Hi Sassy girl,
So your best friend left, she seems to be turning into a mean, inconsiderate girl, and you have friends but no one who you are super close with, your love life (ha) is a joke. Begging a guy to go to prom is not your idea of fun. Oh, and the lesbians you know are getting more action than you, so that is making you think…………
As cliche as it sounds, it DOES get better. Your best friend was dealing with some issues of her own, including her dad dying of AIDS. You will reconnect and still be friends 15 years later. Most importantly, you will meet others like you who are disabled activists. They are a bit older than you, but it will kind of save your life in high school. You will even get to act in a disabled woman’s theater group, too. Fun!
You will experiment a bit with girls, but as soon as you have the first boy you are attracted to kiss you, you will know why you like boys. (Though if Drew Barrymore hopped into bed, you still wouldn’t deny her.) You still think it is totally fine for young people to SAFELY experiment with their sexuality. Finding a mate will ALWAYS be difficult because of your speech and physical impairments, but you will fall in love and have sex and your first long term boyfriend will turn into a really good friend.
More importantly, you will realize that though romantic love is great, and 22 years later you still want that, that there are other things like family and work and activism that are equally important. You also know that gut wrenchingly awful experiences can have the most positive impact on your life. Most of all you will be strong in your beliefs, able to stand outside the crowd, to be who you are truly meant to be in large part because of what you are going through now. You are doing fine, just hang in there, because 17 is a FABULOUS year! Love you. XXOO.