Start with the men/boys

Dear me,
Laura, Laura, Laura…Where do I start? Well, let me just tell you, when that person told you the other day “oh you think you know it all when you’re 16” and you took offence, inside yourself you cringed. You knew she was right. You’re already fed up of people telling you “you think you’re always right” let me tell you, you’ll have a shock one day when your Dad tells you “you’re rarely ever wrong”. It was a shock for me too, and you’re a long way off, mark my words. And bear in mind it took a lot of cock-ups for you to get to that point in your life.

By now I think you’ve already set a trend for yourself. You have already made it quite clear that men are going to rule your life one way or another. You will never openly let them control you but you will control yourself based on their every whim. Well…up to a point. So let’s start with the men/boys in your life now. When your Mum told you that older bloke was bad news, once again, you knew she was right, but you went for it anyway. When you’re older you will realise that a man watching you through the window of your place of work for a week is not flattering, it’s creepy. You already know that one isn’t going to last, that’s why you cheat on him at every opportunity. You’re not going to respect yourself for doing that and you won’t know how bad it feels until someone does it to you. You know deep down who your feelings are for and they will be long into your adult life. But you’ve ruined your chances there already by acting the way you do, so give up. He’s smart enough to know you’re no good, that’s why you like him. Ironic isn’t it?

Onto the drug use now, as that is going to be another massive part of your life. You already decided that for yourself too. It’s something you will never understand, like Mathematics. You usually shy away from things you don’t understand so why not drugs? You started smoking weed because you liked hanging out with the boys but what you need to realise is that not many boys are attracted to girls who are permanently off their faces, and the ones that are are generally worth avoiding. I would try and explain the health scares to you now, but you won’t listen. Just like you don’t worry about smoking cigarettes. You’ve already been doing that for 5 of your tender years. You’ve been killing yourself for nearly a third of your life! I don’t have to tell you how vain you are. We’ll see how vain you are after 10 years of drink and drug abuse when people think you are the older sister!

As for your sister; stop pretending you hate her. One of you has to take the lead on that and you know it’s not going to be her. She’s so proud isn’t she? Well you’re going to realise just how proud you are one day when you have to admit how much you love her and admire her. How you share a special kind of laughter only with her. And how it hurts you physically when things don’t go right for her. How you want to physically hurt those who hurt her and you would do anything to protect her. And you won’t believe me now but one of these days you’re going to have to swallow that pride and tell everyone how much you wish you were more like her. You will even be jealous of her hair colour! Yes, I know it’s not Lime Green or Electric blue, but you will grow out of that, it is just a phase. And yes, sometimes she’s not very nice to you. Get ready for it because there will be a lot of people in your life who love you who will really really hurt you. She will be the one to help you pick up the pieces. Yes, really.

I would go on but, as we’ve established, you already know it all. The only things that will stick with you from right now are your make-up style and some of your musical taste…ok, all of your musical taste but you will learn not to admit that! The one piece of advice I would like to offer you is “value the right people in your life” but, in truth, you won’t know who those people are until you have embraced all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. I can’t tell you if it’s all going to work out all right. All I can tell you is that you’ll have a lot of fun finding out.  So buckle up, dig in and prepare for a bumpy ride!



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