I know you are seeking a place to fit in because you don’t have a lot of friends right now. But, you need to relax, to believe in yourself while listening more and speaking a lot less. I think you will notice that your family life is not ideal, try to be an agent of change in your mother’s life-she too is lonely. Be a friend to her and try to encourage her to step out and step up. Sitting at home watching tv is no way to live life to the fullest.
Also, get out and try a a sport-make it a priority to get out and get on a team!! Any team. I know you tried wrestling as a senior, but you and I know that was just too late to give you a chance to make that sport your own. You may have to use your paper route money to pay for some of the expenses, but do it because it will change your life and maybe your mom’s as well because she needs to connect with something besides her issues with abandonment.
In sum, be a light to others and try to enjoy life without falling prey to the dark side of pessimism.
You have great potential to make the world a better place. Start today to “make that change” as the one gloved wonder used to sing.
Fondest Regards for a great future,