You’re sixteen and the world is completely upside down. I’m you in 8 years and I have (hopefully) words of comfort for you, dear one.
First, I know that you’re sad and hurting. You feel like your world has shattered because Mom and Dad split. I’m going to tell you though, them splitting up is the best thing for everyone. And it helps you see that Mom really is the only one you can count on. Dad isn’t really who you thought he was. Oh and it brings you and Nick so much closer. You will find out in the next year how amazing that little boy really is. He saves your life.
Second, All of the boys that you think you “love,” are just infatuations and when you see them later on, you’re absolutely gorgeous and they are getting fat and drink too much. You get a lot cuter after high school and trust me, people will notice. Until then, it is not the end of the world, if they don’t like you or you embarrass yourself. The Butthead that comes into your future will be a great lesson to you but, the “heartbreak” from him is really nothing. You’re first broken heart comes later and while it is absolutely horrid and painful, you keep going and breathing. You come out much stronger than you were before.
Third, There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Whether it’s with money, school, or how you’re hurting, asking mom for help will be a lot easier than the alternative. She can be a harsh woman but in the end, she does love you and only wants what’s best for you.
Fourth, Smile. You are smart, beautiful, funny, kind, loving, and loved. I know that being sixteen is horrendous but the angst does go away. (Hence, why it’s called “teenage angst.”) You will have some rough times but if you keep breathing and follow your gut, you will make it out alive, well, stronger, and wiser.
There are so many good things ahead of you and there’s some scary things too. But, little sixteen year old me, you can make it through anything. The line of women you come from have shown you how to persevere.
One last thing, always, always remember how loved you really are. You need to love yourself more than anyone else but, on those days when you can’t find your self-love, remember that you are loved by so many people.
I wish I could tell you more but some things you’ll have to see for yourself. In the meantime, follow your heart, keep singing, and love yourself.
Tanika (Age 24)