I have so much to say don’t know where to start first off hun put down the joint and pick up the books you are so much smarter than you think!!!! the drugs are clouding your judgement as far as your depression goes go get help now!!!!!!!! it doesn’t go away and you need to deal with it rather than try to mask it!!!!! it only gets worse without help TRUST ME! Don’t feel guilty about the rape it was not your fault. No does mean no just remember that process it and move on, you cannot drag every bad word and wrong doing with you for the rest of your life it gets damn heavy!
you need to start working on loving yourself and not judging your self worth by others! you have some hard life lessons coming your way and you need to have the strength within to deal with them so buck up buttercup put on your big girl panties hold your head high and know you are worth it!!! I LOVE YOU! look in the mirror and say it! you cannot truly love others until you love yourself. Whenever those suicidal thoughts hit look yourself in the eye and say i love you scream it if you have to! now take a deep breath, don’t sweat the small stuff and know you are loved and you can do it! see u round love me!