Matt Dillon – he does OK

Dear Janine
As you read this laying on your pink chenille bedspread,  the huge ABBA poster above your bed, I need to offer you some pretty important advice.

Firstly, turn to the left, there is something you need to know about those cute guys in the posters. Rob Lowe- he’ll disappoint you for a while there will be a sordid little sex scandal, but eventually you will forgive him and thirty years on he’s still pretty hot. Scott Baio – enjoy him now, you are seeing him at his peak – it doesn’t get much better than Happy Days for him. Matt Dillon – he does OK, even gets an Academy Award nomination, you keep losing track of him but every now and then you wander into a cinema and he pops up unexpectedly on the screen reminding you of another time. By the way, you don’t marry any of them.

Now look there’s a few things you need to do.

  1. Accept the place at Canberra University to study Professional Writing – you will spend the next twenty eight years trying to legitimately claim the title of writer when three years in the mid-eighties could have got you there much quicker.
  2. Be bolder, braver, take more risks.
  3. Give up the chips and lemonade. I know it’s hard to believe the stick-insect, size 8 creature that you are, but you get FAT. So stop now, or you will end up blogging about your weight loss goal in a thing called Project 44 where you lay your life bare to potentially millions of readers. Blogging? Look I don’t have time to explain now, but that single computer  in the maths room, it really catches on.
  4. Lose the nice girl thing you’ve got happening. Nice girls  finish last. You need to find a way to release your inner bitch or people will walk all over you.
  5. Get rid of those drama queen tendencies – I think they keep attracting chaos and stress to your life – and you will pass the drama gene down to your second child who will expand upon it beyond anything you could have ever imagined (and you have a degree in drama studies)!!!!

There’s a few things you need to know.

  1. Life gets tough (but not as tough as some have it). You turn out to be much more resilient than anyone thought possible.
  2. You learn to hide the shyness.
  3. You do eventually meet a boy who wants to kiss you.
  4. The way you imagine life is gunna turn out? Nahh.
  5. At the worst of times two little individuals will wrap their arms around you and say “we love you Mum” – and you won’t care that you never made it to being a reporter on 60 Minutes.

Lots of love.


PS The perm won’t be a good look and you need to get the contact lenses much, much sooner.


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