By Anya Peters
A heartbreaking precise tale of 1 little girl's seek to discover a spot she may well name home.
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Additional info for Abandoned : the true story of a little girl who didn't belong
Mummy looked sad and I felt shivery, wondering if it was anything to do with me. In my head I saw the man’s buckteeth again and looked at the hard cream sandwiched between the biscuits. I thought of Mummy doing the buckteeth earlier to make me smile. ‘Maybe he only eats carrots,’ I said shyly. I felt Mummy’s smile before I saw it, and looked up at her as it grew longer and longer, spreading across her face until she was laughing and tears were rolling down her cheeks. Suddenly she found the energy to get up, ruffling my hair as she passed into the kitchen, saying I was a great girl, and that nobody was taking me away from her, and I could have all the custard creams ‘quick, before the others come in’.
She described herself as being the ‘black sheep of the family’, ‘rough and ready’ and a ‘fighter’. ‘Don’t worry about me,’ she’d whisper to us those nights when we’d all tiptoed back down after he had staggered off to bed. ’ But she wasn’t; though neither was she quite ready for the monster my uncle turned into after swallowing beer and vodka all night. She just wasn’t willing to be a victim. Soon she was fighting fire with fire, matching him vodka for vodka as they tried to scream and pummel one another into the kind of partner they wanted each other to be.
I went to bed convinced each time that the letter would be posted and that his threats to send me over to ‘them’, ‘on the next boat’, would finally be carried out. Saturday nights were the worst, the times when the arguments always exploded into violence, him threatening and intimidating and finally lashing out. Sometimes the boys got hit too, but mostly it was me and Mummy. We were primed by Tom and Jerry earlier in the evening, who showed us that violence was funny. We laughed the cartoon violence off loudly, looking around at each other as we sucked and chewed our way through a bag of pick ‘n’ mix and slurped our fizzy drinks.